The story concerns Darth Vader, thankfully having gotten over his difficult puberty and now expanding his evil portfolio with a dalliance in stealing other people’s children.
#Gw2 fury unleashed free#
It just goes to prove what I've always said: free will is overrated! On the whole, it seemed like a game I'd much rather be reviewing now, but I made my stupid, stupid choice and now I’m stuck with this watery, dead-eyed knockoff that would have embarrassed a last-generation console with pickaxe lodge in it. And the physics seemed to amount more than just swatting things made of cardboard around various empty rooms.
#Gw2 fury unleashed ps3#
Just to take another massive bladder evacuation into my horrified upward-facing eyes and nostrils, I later caught a glimpse of the PS3 version being played by someone else, and not only were the graphics better, but the level design was drastically different (i.e., actually good). Playing the game, however, it turned out that the legendary, unstoppable warrior-magician has a Zimmer frame and Parkinson’s disease, and a slight graphical downgrade became, "It looks like it was left in a swamp monster's trouser pocket on laundry day".
A slight graphical downgrade is a relatively minor storm to weather for a game that actually feels like being a legendary, unstoppable warrior-magician rather than merely piloting one by remote control. But my thinking was that since the first thing anyone does with a Wii controller is swing it around making lightsaber noises, it would be remiss to play an actual official lightsaber game on anything else. So the game's come out for practically everything with a screen: the Wii, PS3, 360, PSP, iPhone, ZX Spectrum, graphing calculator, microwave oven. (beat) What was I talking about? Well, anyway, The Force Unleashed.
Whenever it's brought out, the cruel, mocking laughs of onlookers savage my self-esteem, and it’s starting to leak this weird, brownish fluid, but I'm too embarrassed to see a doctor. But now the honeymoon's over, and what once stood boldly upright has become limp and floppy in my hands. When the first pack of Nintendo games were still fresh and sales were utterly crushing the competition beneath its sandaled feet, it towered overhead in a turgid position of power and manliness. I think it’s safe to say I’m pretty much over the Wii.
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